In the past when I’ve written about my numbers—daily or A1c—I’ve gotten myriad comments. Some have been positive and encouraging. Others, not so much. I keep a really tight reign on my diabetes; that’s what I was taught to do, and having an A-type personality along with other control issues, it’s what’s programmed into me naturally. I work really, really hard at it and make a lot of sacrifices. I’m by no means perfect—I have my down days and scenarios, and that’s usually what I write about on here.
But I do have a lot of good days, and a lot of good numbers. At one point, though, I decided not to share them on here, because the comments that were written often left me feeling guilty or like I was being made fun of on the playground, or being read a bad deck of cards by a fortune-teller. My diabetes status has been called into question, I’ve been told that I’m on a six-year honeymoon, I’ve been warned to just wait—things were going to get a lot worse, I’ve been told I’m very lucky, as if everything with my body has been chance alone with no impact from me. Whether the commenters meant them as positive or negative, I took them to heart, felt like I was doomed, felt like everything I was doing in my diabetes care didn’t matter and like I was being a little bit ostracized for doing a good job and talking about it.
I went to the endocrinologist on Friday, as a follow-up for starting on the Novolog in late April. The doctor took my HbA1c and I got my test results on Monday. My number was good, really good, and I worked really hard to get it, and I’m really proud of it. But I debated on whether or not to post it here.
Then I remembered what my original intent of this blog was. I wanted a blog that showed that while there was a lot of work involved, and there would be hard days, it was not impossible to do okay with diabetes. And I write this blog for me, as well, as an outlet to freely write about diabetes, and feeling like I’m not able to write about my good days and my good numbers makes me feel like I’m censoring myself.
So. My HbA1c was 5.3. Yay for me!
As always, more to come…