When I woke up this morning, I checked my phone, as I usually do. A calendar reminder was waiting for me: "Diaversary 7/3/03." I had forgotten.
And that's part of what taking a break from the blog was all about. Yes, diabetes is a part of my life. I check my blood sugar (sometimes more often than others), I do multiple shots a day (I prefer to stick than to pump), and my endo and I are regular visit buddies. I take care of myself.
But the blog. The blog was helpful when I was starting out, because it helped me work through things in my head. I'm a writer and reader by instinct and by trade, so words on paper (or screen) have always been the most natural way for me to fully grasp and understand what's happening. I also liked reading other diabetes blogs, because I understood I wasn't alone, and other people had great advice (I still use the lancet someone recommended years ago when I was having problems with mine).
But the blog. The blog became too much of a soul-stealer. There were and are so many other things I wanted to do, to try, to accomplish. And slowly, after figuring out who I was as a diabetic and how diabetes fit into my life, I realized I could do those things, and I wanted to start doing them.
Yesterday, I got out of work early for the holiday weekend. I work a lot of hours, so the extra 2-1/2 hours of free time was a gift. In the past, when the blog was in full swing, I may have spent the time figuring out my next posts, taking photos, ruminating on what needles and tummy bruises mean to me. Instead, I took out a starter kit of watercolors, something I've always wanted to do, sat on my back deck in the late afternoon sunshine, and made a painting of the orange, pink and yellow flower basket hanging in front of me. Emma (my canine companion) was sitting on the deck next to me, and we both enjoyed every minute we spent getting speckled with paint.
My garden is beautiful, I'm several classes in to getting my masters degree, I'm planning my vacation in November (flights, time zones and everything), I hand-made 15 Christmas gifts last year, I spent an obnoxious amount of time picking out the perfect new chandelier for my living room, I'm an amateur expert in aromatherapy and I have a standing monthly massage appointment. My A1c is 7.1. It's a little higher than normal, but we've been making some insulin adjustments lately, and both my doctor and I are okay with that number.
I haven't given up being a diabetic (if only I could), or even a good diabetic. I've just integrated diabetes into my life the way it works best for me. It's there, I pay attention, but I don't let it consume me. Which happens too easily when I'm writing about it on a regular basis.
Happy 12th Diaversary to me. I'll see you around the blogosphere. Sporadically. Very sporadically.