Reckless

I have one test strip left.

I could have sworn I had another vial somewhere, but about a week ago, it became evident I didn’t.

I’ve been clinging to three test strips for the last three days, “saving” them for when I think I really need them. Turns out, I always really need them.

Without testing, I feel reckless—like driving without a seatbelt in rush-hour traffic or eating sushi from a 7-11. It’s like being a little tipsy all the time, and not knowing if you really are tipsy, or just a little off kilter.

I’m so used to testing five times a day that not testing at all seems abnormal. I’m not sure when in the last five years that subtle switch happened, but it did. Testing being the norm; not testing being the weird.

I figure in a situation like this, it’s probably best to err on the side of high, rather than low. I’ve been eating my regular meals without a lot of variation, but throwing in an extra carb unit here and there. If I feel even a hint wonky, I eat something.

My new supply of test strips are due to arrive today (I’ve been tracking them via UPS). As of this afternoon, I’ll be back in control—and I’ll know for sure just how in control I am. But just in case there’s a hold-up, I’m saving that last test strip in case of emergency.

As always, more to come (300 test strips, to be exact)…