School Of Thought

I mentioned before that when I was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost five years ago, I was thoroughly confused and went to the internet to see what I could learn. I learned there wasn’t a lot of information out there that wasn’t clinical and hard to understand, and that people freak out really easily and write a lot about it.

Jump to today, or rather about a month or so ago, and I revisited the World Wide Web to discover all sorts of new things about diabetes. Web sites from medical professionals, blogs from people with diabetes, blogs from people who live with people with diabetes, forums and discussions, chat rooms and basically just all kinds of opinions and information.

I’ve spent time not only writing my own blog, but reading other people’s, and reading comments that people leave me, and dipping into chats where people talk about what they know and how they handle things.

And I got confused all over again.

I know what my doctors tell me, what I was taught upon diagnosis, what I’ve learned from various sources, and I came up with a plan that worked for me, a school of thought that I could live with and maintain and that I thought would keep me healthy.

But the more I read, the more I started to doubt my thinking. Maybe she’s right? Maybe I should try what he said? Maybe my high number isn’t so high? Maybe my low number isn’t that low? Maybe I’m not “complicated” enough to count myself as a “real” diabetic? Maybe I need to loosen up? Maybe I need to tighten up? Maybe I need to have more tests done? Maybe I need to find a different doctor? Maybe I’m a fluke? Maybe I’m the typical? Maybe I need more education? Maybe I know too much? When will I ever know enough?

I started obsessing. It felt like everything became about diabetes, and the more I read, the more I thought I should read.

And then suddenly, about five minutes ago, I had an epiphany. While there’s a lot of great advice and information out there—what meters, lancets and other machinery everyone uses and how they like it; how someone handled a low moment with grace and stealth; what new development is on the horizon; what fabulous food find someone discovered—not all of it applies to me. I can read everything I want, but I can make the decision that the plan someone else is following isn’t compatible with my own, and I can continue as I am. I can also read and decide that yes, this will work for me, and yes, that’s a great idea I’m going to try.

And in my own blog, I’m going to keep writing about what works for me, how I’m managing my diabetes, and what kind of control I have. If you read something you like, feel free to try it. If you read something you don’t think is believable, or that you don’t agree with, then you can make your own decision not to include it in your diabetes plan.

After all, I think there’s enough fish out there to make up a magnificent school of thought.

As always, more to come…